just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
