Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
