also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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