I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
