so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
