Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
