we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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