just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
