Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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