ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
