i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
