They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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