You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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