he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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