I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
