i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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