I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
