Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
