Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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