Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
