Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
