lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
