My liver just broke up with me...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
