Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
