I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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