We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize