Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
