You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
