dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
