So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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