i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
