Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize