I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
