I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the condom got lost in my hair
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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