that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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