How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
