In the future we'll all be gay
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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