So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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