So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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