hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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