everyone is single if you try hard enough
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
