if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
