it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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