let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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