I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
