I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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