so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
