Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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