It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
