I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
