made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
