I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
