I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
