ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
