??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
