Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
only you would photoshop your dick
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
