you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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