yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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