Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
